I am not OfficeMax

Contrary to popular belief, I am not OfficeMax or Staples or any other office supply store.

Yet because my cube is the nearest one to the photocopy/fax/printer area, people assume that I keep the necessary appurtenances for these 3 machines on my desk. And I wouldn’t really mind it except for the fact that all these things are actually available right on top of the shelf unit between the copier and fax machines.

This is what happens: someone copies a pile of papers and then, instead of looking down and picking up the stapler, turns around, walks to my desk and asks, “Do you have a stapler?”

“No, I don’t, but there are three right behind you.” (I say it nicer than this of course, but right now I’m venting so I’m not bothering to sugar-coat things)

Then, not 2 minutes later, the same person might realize she didn’t mean to staple those papers together after all. But instead of looking down and picking up the staple remover (I’m not making this up by the way, this really happens), she turns around, walks back to my area and says, “Do you have the thingie?”

Now, having just gotten back into my work, I’m a little at a loss as to what thingie she’s talking about. With the help of some descriptive gestures we usually figure it out after a few minutes, but still—those are minutes that could have been spent stapling something.

So just for the record, the only office supply I keep at my desk is post-it notes (which I used to call "stick-ums" until I was teased about it).

Well, I also have pens, but please, please don’t take the blue pen, I have to edit in blue or my boss can’t read my changes—and someone in the office must be eating blue pens because I think the one on my desk is the only blue-ink pen left in our whole building.